'Til I find myself in Thee
It is a good day to me when thou givest me a glimpse of myself;
Sin is my greatest evil, but thou are my greatest good...
Give me grace to recall my needs,
my lack of knowing thy will in Scripture,
of wisdom to guide others,
of daily repentance, want of which keeps thee at bay,
of the spirit of prayer, having words without love,
of zeal for thy glory, seeking my own ends,
of joy in thee and they will,
of love to others.
And let me not lay my pipe
too short of the fountain,
never touching the eternal spring,
never drawing down water from above.
-"Self Knowledge," The Valley of Vision
I know, and I have known, that all I have is Christ. I am his and he is mine. When he made me a new creation in him I surrendered the right to claim some independent identity. When he called me and I trusted him, he became my identity and defined WHO, WHAT, and WHY I am.
But sub-identities must exist, seeing as I don't exist in a vacuum.
My relational sub-identities include wife, friend, daughter, sister, church member.
My vocational sub-identities include speech language pathologist, autodidact, vocalist, writer.
And then there's a whole slew of character sub-identities that I like to think I possess such as mature, level-headed, disciplined, etc.
Well, God has taken this period of my life to rid me of many -- I'm tempted to say, in some way or another, almost ALL -- of my sub-identities.
Were you comfortable with viewing yourself through these lenses, Alison? Yes, I was.
How comfortable are you without them? Not at all. This is painful.
What do you think God might be teaching you through this? I'm glad you asked.
God in his infinite wisdom knows the ins and outs of my fickle heart. And in sealing me with his Spirit he has determined that my heart is his and he will do what it takes to conform me into the image of his Son! Right now, that looks like going back to the basics of discovering WHO I am in Christ, WHAT I am destined for, and WHY I'm here right now (these are the existential biggies, folks!).
WHO am I?
A vessel of mercy (Rom 9:23)
Without condemnation (Rom 8:1)
A partaker of grace (Phil 1:7), with grace lavished upon me (Eph 1)
Filled with all the fullness of God (Eph 3:19)
Not alone (Phil 4:9); not alienated (Eph 4:17)
Cannot be separated from God's love (Rom 8)
Loved by God and called a saint (Rom 1:7)
Rooted and grounded in love; loved by Christ in a way that surpasses knowledge (Eph 3:18)
Predestined by the Father (Eph 1)
A partaker of divine nature (2 Pet 1:4)
Adopted through Jesus (Eph 1)
A child of God and co-heir with Christ (Rom 8); made Christ's own (Phil 3:12)
Someone with an advocate before God (1 John 2:1)
Sealed by (Eph 1) and filled with the Spirit (Rom 8)
Alive in Christ (Eph 2)
Born again of imperishable seed (1 Pet 1:23)
A new creation (2 Cor 5:17)
Free; a servant of God (1 Pet 2:16)
Bold in my access to God (Eph 3:12)
A person whose needs are met by God (Phil 4:19)
Provided the armor of God (Eph 6)
A person with hope (Rom 8:25)
Strong, filled with the Word of God, an overcomer of the evil one (1 John 2)
WHAT am I destined for?
Destined to be restored, confirmed, strengthened, and established by God himself (1 Pet 5:10)
Destined for transformation from "lowly body" to "glorious body" like his by his power (Phil 3:21)
Destined to be made like Him (1 John 3)
Destined to be a work completed (Phil 1:16)
Called to eternal glory (1 Pet 5:10)
The inheritance of God (Eph 1)
WHY am I here right now?
For good works (Eph 2)
To be a partner in the gospel with other believers (Phil 1:5)
To be a shining light (Phil 2:15)
To be a living sacrifice (Rom 12:1)
To be a member of a whole Body (Rom 12)
I can't say that you can read this once and be automatically in tune with it. I have to keep coming back time and again during these trying times for the answers to these questions. To stay my mind on what God says about me is my goal, until I ultimately, and for eternity, find myself in Him.
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