Recovering from someone else's sin
In the moment, when someone sins against you, the Bible gives clear instruction on what to do. But after all is said and done, whether reconciliation occurred or not, you are faced with a future interacting with the person who sinned against you and/or the memories of their sin. Those interactions, unfettered, can result in some pretty ugly things.
Bitterness can be a really sneaky emotion. While can be easy to simply say, "I forgive you," bitterness can change the quality of your interactions with the person or with your memories of the person. And while some weightiness may be completely appropriate given the sin, bitterness is commanded not to be a part of Christian-to-Christian relationships (Heb 12:15, Eph 4:31). In Hebrews 12, bitterness is listed alongside sexual immorality as a danger to the church! If your heart continues to feel sour or angry at the thought of the person who sinned against you, it's possible there is bitterness that needs to be worked through.
Paralyzed, stuck at an impasse, unable to move. Do you ever feel this way? Sometimes, the feeling of being frozen is the result of someone else's sin that has been compartmentalized and neatly tucked away. As a means of "dealing with it," we can stuff our thoughts and emotions regarding a circumstance into a mental box. We may not realize the problem with that until we discover that important parts of us have entered the box as well, rendering us emotionally tied-up. Petrified of dating because of sin on the part of your last significant other? Paralyzed in your job search as you sit on the memory of your previous place of employment? We can't bury things as an attempt to route around bitterness or pain. The end result is a stony and uncompassionate heart.
In my heart, pain caused by someone else's sin can take the form of what I like to call The Loop. The Loop is essentially clips of memories or even my own imagination replaying over and over the person's sin and our interactions surrounding it. This is painful, a form of mental self-harm. However, in Philippians 4:8 we are commanded to think on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. If there is something about the person who sinned against you that falls into one of these categories, think about it. If not, think about the God who is the embodiment of the entire list.
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Sin can cause an ebb and flow in these attitudes and emotions. Pain can shift to hard-heartedness, bitterness can shift to pain. The craftiness of the darkness we war against means that just because we have "dealt with" something once doesn't mean in it is over forever. As life goes on we may need to, once again, turn to God to remember and affirm what is true regarding the same relationship and/or circumstances.
Christ offers me freedom from sin -- even the results of of others' sin against me.
God in his sovereignty is working all things for his glory and my good.
God is the ultimate picture of forgiveness and holds nothing back in grace -- if his divine power has granted me all that pertains to life and godliness, I am able to do this too.
Bitterness
What it looks like in my mind: It's colored everything around this relationship a shade darker.Bitterness can be a really sneaky emotion. While can be easy to simply say, "I forgive you," bitterness can change the quality of your interactions with the person or with your memories of the person. And while some weightiness may be completely appropriate given the sin, bitterness is commanded not to be a part of Christian-to-Christian relationships (Heb 12:15, Eph 4:31). In Hebrews 12, bitterness is listed alongside sexual immorality as a danger to the church! If your heart continues to feel sour or angry at the thought of the person who sinned against you, it's possible there is bitterness that needs to be worked through.
Hard-heartedness
What it looks like in my mind: I don't think about it even though I probably need to.Paralyzed, stuck at an impasse, unable to move. Do you ever feel this way? Sometimes, the feeling of being frozen is the result of someone else's sin that has been compartmentalized and neatly tucked away. As a means of "dealing with it," we can stuff our thoughts and emotions regarding a circumstance into a mental box. We may not realize the problem with that until we discover that important parts of us have entered the box as well, rendering us emotionally tied-up. Petrified of dating because of sin on the part of your last significant other? Paralyzed in your job search as you sit on the memory of your previous place of employment? We can't bury things as an attempt to route around bitterness or pain. The end result is a stony and uncompassionate heart.
Pain
What it looks like in my mind: I overthink about it.In my heart, pain caused by someone else's sin can take the form of what I like to call The Loop. The Loop is essentially clips of memories or even my own imagination replaying over and over the person's sin and our interactions surrounding it. This is painful, a form of mental self-harm. However, in Philippians 4:8 we are commanded to think on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. If there is something about the person who sinned against you that falls into one of these categories, think about it. If not, think about the God who is the embodiment of the entire list.
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Sin can cause an ebb and flow in these attitudes and emotions. Pain can shift to hard-heartedness, bitterness can shift to pain. The craftiness of the darkness we war against means that just because we have "dealt with" something once doesn't mean in it is over forever. As life goes on we may need to, once again, turn to God to remember and affirm what is true regarding the same relationship and/or circumstances.
Rather than allowing these attitudes to take hold, I will affirm:
In Christ, I can choose not to sit in these mental places.Christ offers me freedom from sin -- even the results of of others' sin against me.
God in his sovereignty is working all things for his glory and my good.
God is the ultimate picture of forgiveness and holds nothing back in grace -- if his divine power has granted me all that pertains to life and godliness, I am able to do this too.
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