On saying "thank you"
Currently I am feeling a little knot in my stomach over the fact that I have not been better at expressing gratitude.
I think I've come to a place of making sure that I am thanking God in prayer -- it still takes an effort, totally, but I know its essential in my relationship with God because it puts everything in perspective. And because I feel immediate effects in my soul when I stop saying thank you.
But what about saying thank you to people?
I like to think I'm a pretty polite person, and that if someone does something that deserves thanks that I'm happy to send it their way.
But what about when you get used to a person's kindness?
Do you say thank you the fourth or fifth time the waiter at the fancy restaurant refills your tiny water glass? Do you say thank you to your parents every month for still paying your portion of the phone bill? Do you say thank you every time you come home to an empty trashcan, knowing your roommate must have taken it out?
My boyfriend always unlocks my door first so I can get in the car. He pays for a number of my meals each week. He picks me up without complaint and walks all the way to my door on the third floor of the apartment building and drives me places and then takes me home.
I've largely stopped saying "thank you" for these things because they happen so regularly that I take them for granted. I'm tempted to think, I don't want to wear it out!
But then I think about saying, "I love you." You're not worried about wearing it out, because it's true and it's affirming. It's necessary. Sometimes you need to elaborate on it, but at the very least it's important to say. And it makes me sad when I don't hear it.
I think saying "thank you" is the same way. It's not a matter of wearing it out, that's why it exists. And if something is "bigger", maybe it denotes a real look-me-in-the-eye-pause-for-a-second-so-I-can-thank-you thank you. But even in the every day, thanks need to have a place squarely on the tip of my tongue.
This month I'm going to make an effort not JUST to thank the Giver of all good gifts, but to thank the people whom he gives them through.
I think I've come to a place of making sure that I am thanking God in prayer -- it still takes an effort, totally, but I know its essential in my relationship with God because it puts everything in perspective. And because I feel immediate effects in my soul when I stop saying thank you.
But what about saying thank you to people?
I like to think I'm a pretty polite person, and that if someone does something that deserves thanks that I'm happy to send it their way.
But what about when you get used to a person's kindness?
Do you say thank you the fourth or fifth time the waiter at the fancy restaurant refills your tiny water glass? Do you say thank you to your parents every month for still paying your portion of the phone bill? Do you say thank you every time you come home to an empty trashcan, knowing your roommate must have taken it out?
My boyfriend always unlocks my door first so I can get in the car. He pays for a number of my meals each week. He picks me up without complaint and walks all the way to my door on the third floor of the apartment building and drives me places and then takes me home.
I've largely stopped saying "thank you" for these things because they happen so regularly that I take them for granted. I'm tempted to think, I don't want to wear it out!
But then I think about saying, "I love you." You're not worried about wearing it out, because it's true and it's affirming. It's necessary. Sometimes you need to elaborate on it, but at the very least it's important to say. And it makes me sad when I don't hear it.
I think saying "thank you" is the same way. It's not a matter of wearing it out, that's why it exists. And if something is "bigger", maybe it denotes a real look-me-in-the-eye-pause-for-a-second-so-I-can-thank-you thank you. But even in the every day, thanks need to have a place squarely on the tip of my tongue.
This month I'm going to make an effort not JUST to thank the Giver of all good gifts, but to thank the people whom he gives them through.
Comments
Post a Comment