Confession #8: I've got to practice
Lately I've been confronted with something by several people who know me well. I've been walking a lot of uncharted territory in the last few months. New ideas and unfamiliar emotions often seems to leave me speechless, wanting to curl up in a ball and change to easier subjects.
It's easier to ignore when one person says it, but not when it keeps recurring:
Sometimes, you're not great at communicating.
Each time it's hit me like a ton of bricks. What do you mean I'm not good at communicating something, anything? I'm a communication specialist -- I'm getting my Master's in this, for goodness sake!
The irony is so personal that I feel like a hypocrite.
But as I was considering these conversations this morning, wallowing in self-pity that I am not a natural-born communicator of all ideas and emotions, I came to an epiphany.
I need practice.
When children come to speech therapy, we assess them to find out what they are stimulable for -- we look for the targets that they can produce in isolation but don't regularly produce in conversation. Stimulable targets are our starting point, they're our foundation. The ability is there, but practice is required to make it natural.
I think back to some of my first consultations with parents after vision therapy sessions. Some of them were pretty rocky! I didn't do a great job at explaining how activities worked, or what they were targeting. If they asked questions, I didn't always know how to express answers.
Now, however, I rarely have a parent consult where I get the sense that the parent is leaving confused or dissatisfied. With practice, I've grown to be a better communicator!
So that's how this must work as well. I must practice expressing ideas and emotions that don't come readily with words. I must put myself in my listeners' shoes to help them understand. I must use strategies and fight the gut feeling of idontwannatalkaboutitpleasejuststop. I must pray for wisdom, because wise people are able to communicate for the benefit of others.
It's easier to ignore when one person says it, but not when it keeps recurring:
Sometimes, you're not great at communicating.
Each time it's hit me like a ton of bricks. What do you mean I'm not good at communicating something, anything? I'm a communication specialist -- I'm getting my Master's in this, for goodness sake!
The irony is so personal that I feel like a hypocrite.
But as I was considering these conversations this morning, wallowing in self-pity that I am not a natural-born communicator of all ideas and emotions, I came to an epiphany.
I need practice.
When children come to speech therapy, we assess them to find out what they are stimulable for -- we look for the targets that they can produce in isolation but don't regularly produce in conversation. Stimulable targets are our starting point, they're our foundation. The ability is there, but practice is required to make it natural.
I think back to some of my first consultations with parents after vision therapy sessions. Some of them were pretty rocky! I didn't do a great job at explaining how activities worked, or what they were targeting. If they asked questions, I didn't always know how to express answers.
Now, however, I rarely have a parent consult where I get the sense that the parent is leaving confused or dissatisfied. With practice, I've grown to be a better communicator!
So that's how this must work as well. I must practice expressing ideas and emotions that don't come readily with words. I must put myself in my listeners' shoes to help them understand. I must use strategies and fight the gut feeling of idontwannatalkaboutitpleasejuststop. I must pray for wisdom, because wise people are able to communicate for the benefit of others.
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